Living in the Lymelife

Lymelife - 2009 - Rory Culkin, Keiran Culkin, Alec Baldwin, Jill Hennessy, Timothy Hutton, Cynthia Nixon, Emma Roberts

I recently was channel surfing, and happened to land on Lymelife. I hadn't heard of it, but the cast interested me, and honestly, there wasn't much else on.

I was hoping that it would be a comedy, and that Alec Baldwin would unleash some of his Jack Donaghy (or Canteen Boy's Scoutmaster) humor. That didn't happen, but the longer I watched the movie, the more interesting it became to me.

The story is a drama, with some comedy thrown in at times, and centers around a couple of neighboring families, and the family members' individual struggles. The philandering parents trapped in unhappy marriages, dealing with the disappointment of their children's disappointment in them; the childrens' pain of adolescence, crushes, experimentation, bullying, and trying to figure themselves and their place out; the early real-estate boom fueled by the baby boomer generation, and, hence the title, the initial knowledge of lyme disease. All of them play as intensely influencing factors in the development of the story, and with all of the separate plot focal points, it would be impossible, at any age, to not identify in some way with the characters, whether reminiscently or present-tense. I didn't grow up in the 70's, but the late 70's long island setting was a common landscape, extremely relatable to any suburbanite, with it's own victories and difficulties.

The screenplay by Derick and Steven Martini, who appear to be newcomers, is brilliant and relative, but what impressed me the most about the movie was the acting of everyone involved. The characters were clearly robust, and the actors sunk their teeth right into them. Everyone was incredible! The performances you would expect from some of the veteran actors and actresses involved, though not typically all in the same project, were all delivered in this case. For some of the less experienced, or less showcased actors and actresses, it served as a document of their truly strong acting abilities. The Culkin brothers were amazing and interesting to watch, Jill Hennessy was perfect as their mother, and Emma Roberts shed the Nancy Drew, Hotel For Dogs, good time family character we've seen from her before, and showed her capability as a young, but clearly skilled, actress.

As the plotline develops, the viewer delves further into the motivation, frustration, and triumphs of the characters, ultimately remembering similar personal experiences and relating to them in ways few films can facilitate. I obviously became a big fan of the movie, recommend it to anyone, and am looking forward to other films that may deliver what this one did for me. If you have cable, Netflix, or a video store near you, and I'm sure you do, I'm confident that this would be a DVR or rental that you would enjoy and hope you do as much as I did.

Grade: A

Remember kids...if it ain't a GMO, it ain't goood eatin'!

Here are two facts about myself I’m going to share with you, our loyal loyal fans, one pretty obvious and one lesser known. Fact the first…I am a fan of food. I don’t just like to eat per se but I like to experience and try new foods. I am a foodie if you will, but I am in no way a food snob. This is the obvious fact as evidenced by my ever expanding waistline. The other fact is that while I enjoy documentaries, I try not to watch ones that have a political undertone since I get all fired up about them. I don’t really watch the news for that same reason. Politics are bad for my mental health. So it was with some slight trepidation that I watched “Food, Inc.”

Let me start off by saying that you should never trust a documentarian. They usually seem to have an agenda and it often times seeps into the film itself. So with that in mind, “Food, Inc.” is a film about the way we eat. Or more correctly, the way our food is produced and packaged and brought to the consumer. It is a fascinating subject because it is something that effects every person in the country but it is a topic that most of us never stop to consider. The film touches on many aspects of the food industry: the industrialization of farming and the changes to reality that it has brought to our farming communities, both physically and economically; the virus like spread of corn into all of the products we eat which is often not immediately apparent to consumers; and the genetic tampering and short-cuts the food industry has taken to give the consumer what it wants at the cost of nutrition and, as a consequence, our health. These points are presented well and are thought provoking.

But the real revelation of the film, at least for me, was the depiction of the food industry as a shadowy and powerful cabal in the US government. According to the film, they have positioned themselves into power by exempting themselves from trust laws, keeping their operations a strictly guarded secret, and paying low wages to employees who work in dangerous and filthy environments. All of this leads to risks to the health of the public at large. What is truly shocking, if true, is how the food industry has effectively made the USDA and FDA powerless to regulate and enforce sanctions on them. Realizing that they have made organizations that are meant to protect us toothless in the pursuit of capitalism is, well, part of what gets me all fired up and why I try to avoid these things.

The above is contrasted by images of the local farmer, the organic grower, companies that care about the well being of the public and the environment. So the message is to eat local, eat organic, eat seasonal, stop The Man. (By the way, this is spelled out explicitly in an interminable “you-should-do-this” sequence at the end.) And that is my main problem with the film. I understand they are trying to get a message across. But they only pay lip service to the negatives, if at all. For one, the film does touch on the expense of eating organic and local yet it is a short segment and incomplete at that. The fact of the matter is that it is significantly more expensive to buy organic and local products. Many families simply can’t afford to do this. The film seems to suggest that this is also the doing of the food industry. While the industry does play a part, the flip side is not significantly explored. Also, zero mention is made (from what I recall) of what organic produce does to the population of the world at large. I have heard jokes told that for every “progressive” yuppie enjoying their organic apple, 100 people are dying of starvation in the third world. The simple fact is…if all we produced was local and organic, we couldn’t support the worlds population. Who knows if we could even support our own. While it is all well and good to say it is better for your health, I’m sure those starving appreciate your moral stance against a genetically modified kumquat.

“Food, Inc.” is a good film and I encourage you to see it. Listen to what it has to say but don’t go off the deep end and keep it in perspective. Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering, there isn’t much in the way of gruesome animal slaughtering. The most graphic things involves chickens (at a small farm no less.) Bon appétit!

Grade: B+

"Teeth" needs to go to the orthodontist to get straightened out.

So I watched a charming little movie called “Teeth” the other day. This is the tale of a virginal, promise ring wearing, inspirational chastity speech giving teen by the name of Dawn (Jess Weixler). Dawn is a little different. I don’t mean different in the sense of being a young woman of strict religious principals struggling to find love and acceptance in high school. No, Dawn is different because she has lamprey teeth. In her lady parts. Yes, you read that right. Dawn has a condition known as “vagina dentata” which is Latin for “Jaws pu$$y.” (I had to censor myself…this is a family website.) You can guess where the film goes from there.

Where do I even begin with this one? I’m going to get this out of the way right up front…I am not a huge fan of comedy in my horror movies, even black comedy. The line between inspired filmmaking and ridiculous bore for horror comedy is razor thin in my opinion. It fails more often than it succeeds, which is unfortunately the case with “Teeth.” The jokes, when they come, are not really that funny because of all the screaming and blood. Imagine a movie where every joke is the date rape joke from “Observe and Report.” Yeah, sounds hilarious right?

At this point, you are saying “Matt, so it isn’t that funny but isn’t it scary? I mean, emasculating female revenge is TOTALLY SCARY.” Well, chief, you’re wrong there too. The biggest disappointment is that the scares are pretty dull. You know when they are coming (since anything that goes into the vagina of doom meets the same end), they are pretty much the same every time (because how many different ways can you put something into the vagina of doom without it becoming a horror comedy PORNO?), and they usually have some of the “comedy” tossed in there that makes the whole exercise just fail epically.

To top it all off, I just couldn’t get behind any of the characters. Dawn is annoying and everybody she comes into contact with is a doucher. Which begs the question…how does one person run into this many rapists/molesters/douchebags in a period of a FEW DAYS in a SMALL TOWN and manages to get all kinds of stuff shoved up there to be bitten off?! I understand that if the entire conceit of your movie is to have a vajayjay with a blender in it, you need to find a reason for stuff to go up there. But the filmmakers don’t want Dawn to be a monster, they want her to be sympathetic. It just left me blasé. Of course, I guess it is a moot point anyway since how many people have teeth in their vagina?

This film received positive critical response and was a hit at Sundance in 2007. I mean, I understand “the message.” I understand the point that it makes about female empowerment and the metaphor for sexuality and yada yada yada. I guess “Teeth” should be given its due for that if nothing else. But purely as a piece of entertainment, it just isn’t satisfying.

Grade: D